Demons are a girls best friend

O god O god O god..... I have a problem, or at least I think there is a problem with me or something. It could also be because Im sick... hmmm So heres the problem. Is it normal to look at someone when you have a boyfriend. Its not just a casual look, its a ... looking forward to go to school to look at this person... kind of thing
I think It will pass... but I just tend to worry myself sometimes
Besides that I've been stuck at home on monday and tuesday because of this nasty cold that I have

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- none cause they all want to sit in the dark and cry
or
- two, one to change it and one to write a song about how much they miss the old one

Lunacy

OOOOO man..... was today fun, well only a portion of about 15-20 minutes. I went over to bryans house after work... then we walked an hour all the way downtown to get his second nipple pierced. So we did that.. and it was quick and we had a lot of hours to kill before we had to go down to Kin coulee for "grad activities" So we had supper... and I got a call from mike. He said hes going to the punk show later and we should meet him there.
So we did... and nathan was there too.... then just guess who decides to show up in his green t-shirt and WHITE pants (my guess is its his "summer wear") Yes... that is right STEPHAN
Dear god... I almost died of a heart failure. But it was damn near perfect.
After that.. amaya came and picked us up to go to kin coulee... and it was sad, and cold.

I went to trukkers again today with Bryan and dave. It was greaaat. I had so much coffee again.... but its good. We went during our spare before lunch, and we made dave skip just so he could drive us. Then we went to the pool hall during lunch like always, but no one but us three was there this time.
Gah... I hate when things dont work out like tonight... its all because of my stupid lame phone...... I got a new card today... and it says my account balance is $45.... but it wont let me do anything.

My life when I am 25 (to full detail)


- I will be married to Bryan
-He will be a chef, who specializes in japanese cuisine
-We will have gone to Japan for a year or more while me and K teach english and he studies food
- I will be a pharmacy technician who makes $20 an hour
- I will have a cat
- We will have a dog named angelo
- We will own a super nice house, that is worth a lot
- We will own a restaurant that will be very high class
- I will live right next to krystal and ebbie in their super nice houses
- I will have enough will power to go running every morning with the dog
- We will go on a vacation every year for two weeks
- I will have good style and a huge closet with lots of clothes
- I would have backpacked across europe a couple years before

The day is the first day of the rest of your life, remember

Yesterday bryan came over after schooll cause I wanted to show him the show home, and then we were going to go see a movie after. So during spare, we go over to his house. Then as we were walking back to meet my parents at the school he was soo nervous cause it was the first time he was going too meet my dad.
So when we got home he said it was the longest 10 minute car ride of his life, lol. We just played ping pong in the basement for an hour, and watched part of the matrix. Plus he went through all my stuff in my room.... like photoalbums, and sketchbooks. Thank god he didnt go through my journal though... not that he would have known what was going on, or who the people were. It would just be wierd.
When I brought up the fact that we were going out for supper with my parents... he started whimpering and begging me to change the plans and just make them drop us off at the mall... because he was scared and shy......... it was soo adorable. We saw the show home, then went to the mall, had chinese food, and then went grad shopping. I decided the acessories that are going to go with my awesome dress. Plus I saw a skirt im going to make my mom buy me tomorrow. And hopefully capri's I saw at le chateau.
Then we went downtown and saw The Life Aquatic which is a really good movie.

Dancing in the dark

Man.... I want to be rich when Im older, no... I NEED to be rich when Im older. Or I will marry someones whos rich.... But then again who "wont" do that...
So I went to see this show home tonight... and I nearly died, it was soooooo absolutely gorgeous. And its only a couple house down from mine, literally. I think of my house, then I think whats down the street, yesh. I was looking at ONE of the vases on the dresser... just out of the way, nothing spectacular, and just that alone was $80.
But wow.... you should have seen that house, it was like nothing else in the world that I have even been to before.
Downstairs they had a games room that you could win, so I made chrissy enter it for me. Just think, I could "have" my own $4000 pool table plus a $800 foozeball and $900 air hockey table when I move out. That would be awesome. Beyond Awesome actually.
I'm going to "win" a kinsman dream home when I am older.... or at least have one that looks like it should be. That is my new life goal.

Finally woken

Ive realized that I've grown up. I m no longer the person I used to be in grd 10, or even last year for that matter. I dont want to grow up, because I like the person I used to be. Back then I never cared what I would be doing one year from now, because I already knew. I knew I would be going to school, even if it weren't in vernon, it was still somewhat certain. Now... what AM I going to do next year?
I gave my two weeks notice yesterday, so now I no longer have a job. I have enough money to last me a little longer, but then Ill just make some in the summer. Once I learn how to drive well.... thats the end there, I definately wont be the same person I was last year or in grd 10. I dont want this year to be over, but then I do.
I know that once school is done and bryan moves to calgary, it'll be over. I just can't do long distance relationships no matter how much I care for him now.
I just dont know what will happen.

jerk it out

I've come to the conclusion that I have really bad PMS. I can actually now tell when its going to be that time of the month cause Im sooo damn moody. I feel sorry for the people who have to put up with me, no joke.
Yesterday I woke up at 5:30 to stand in line for tiger hockey tickets. It was insane, there were 15 people in front of us and only 46 tickets available.
From there, we went downtown and bryan got his nipple pierced. hhahaha.

I feel sick and I dont want to go to school tomorrow but I know I must considering I have two tests to write... grr.
But I do get my report card on friday, who knows how that will look.

And I'm holding on

darlings.... its been forever since I last updated. I've been in an uninsperational fix lately. But Im curing that with dedicating all my saturdays to painting and writing for the next little while.
So K came down for sprong break and it was grand. Friday and saturday night I had to give up my room cause Cindy was down from calgary as well and she got my room. Saturday K came, and we went to aunty julies for supper, then had a camp out in the computer room.
Sunday was supper at my grandma's and then we went to the show downtown. That was super fun, and krystal enjoyed herself as well... ahahahha. The Hitchers are a really good band, and I got the poster from off the wall. I had to steal bryan one too.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we hung out and went to the mall, and downtown and stuff. And also went to trukkers one of those days with Tristan and Nicki. hahah....
Wednesday night krystal, bryan, mike and me all went out for supper. We went to montana's and then decided to go see GuessWho after that and of course we invited Tristan to come along. Since it was rather early in the night after that, we did the greatest thing. We went to Tim Hortons, thought up a scheme and then.... We all egged stephans house. It was soooo much fun. When we went to the 7-11 bryan called me his sister and then kept feeling me up right at the till. We got eggs and a really nasty looking sandwich that ended up on his driveway. mwhahahah
Then as we were making our getaway, off on the streets are melissa, jessica, michelle and shaina, all drunk. .... and annoying. Then we went to the teepee and goofed around for a really long time till mike got a call from melissa that the cops had just stopped them blah blah blah. So we went back to Tim Hortons and had a party.
Thursday night was just as fun. We picked up mike from work. He wanted red bull so we went and got him some, then went and picked up bryan. From there, we went to the mohawk and picked up Nathan and his friend cause nathan knew where the party was that we were going to. The party was at some, not finished house... it was slightly boring so we left and went to Nolans. Which wasnt very much fun either, so we made a "wendy's run" to get JBC's
It was a looooong night we ended up in the drive thru about three times, and then drove around to the middle of nowhere where I had to pee really badly.
Yesterday we went swimming then watched porn.