I was never any good at playing chess...........

Oh wanna know the reason i am failing math?? My mom went in to see my math teacher this morning. And according to him B.C is ten years behind in thier math. So he said it's basically like me going from grade 11 to second year university math.............. ooooooooo doesnt that sound great. There goes my social life since ill have to LIVE in tutorial

WOW i that was one fun weekend and a half batman!! I wish i could replay it over and over and over and over again. especially friday night at Ronny's party, it was great... Mike and Kurtis were hitting on me so much. They even said i could do so much better than Stephan too...... but they were drunk. O boy were they ever. Kurtis even gave Stephan $20 so he could "take me out cause i deserve it" And apparently word gets around to lots of people when you do things........ I felt bad for Mike on friday night though, Kurtis kept saying how he had this HUGE crush on me and everything, yet i was all over Stephan the whole night right in front of him. I kinda feel like crap for doing that... The other Mike made me try pot though.... so i did. We left at about 1ish and i got to ride in the back seat with Mike's cousin who kept annoying me the whole night.

Saturday i was invited to Ashley's birthday party but i couldnt go because i had to work until frickin 11:30... that luckily didnt stop me though. Brody was pissed at me the whole day... but that part will come later. At about 10 Stephan Mike and Mike came in to visit me. Stephan asked if i could join them after work because they were going to a grad sleepover, just to visit though. So i called my mom and i went with them and two really dumb airheads who went in a seperate van. They just decided to follow them from Ashley's party. When we went out in the middle of nowhere their van got stuck........... and it ruined the night cause we had to help them get out and what not for about 2 hours...
We went to ashley's after that. And surprisingly i hadn't killed myself after that. And i watched mike sing some really hot kareoke..... lol. I love mike, he's so funny.
Then at around 3 we decided to leave, and i got a ride home with Stephan and i will leave it at that......

Yesterday i was called a backstabber!! Brody called me that because thats what i am for not going out with him when he liked me first. Guys are so dumb, hes so mean to me and then expects me to go out with him?? i dont get that logic.... but he's just jealous maybe thats why he's mean. Then he said i make him sick for going out with a guy that wears pink shoe laces.... o dear...
Scott's also jealous. Thats what ashley told me because she talks to him all the time. And now he's all sad that i dont like him anymore and he never got the chance to ask me out before either. But now i have no idea who to choose from. I could go to ashley's party next week with stephan and let ashley meet him, or i could just go alone and hang out with scott.
Sunday i get to open with mike...... and thats always fun too. And i am sooooooo confused!!!

AHHHHH i dont want to go to work this evening AT ALL!!!! Curtis said he's going to be working, i hope to god Ronny's not, OR KENDRA! or anyone who was at the party last night for that matter. Mind you they were all really drunk so who knows if they'll remember anything.... It's gonna be so awkward having to open with Mike next sunday, but im probably gonna have to work with him before that anyways..... o dear.......
anyways that is the end of my rant.....

Boys are funny. However, jelous boys are the most vicious thing on the planet, i happened to learn that last night.
Hmmm i dont really know what to write, or if i should or not. But overall i had a fun night, and now i dont feel to well. But i managed to pick up an extra sweatshirt which iam wearing right now, hehe.<3
My cousin also gave me a whole shit load of her old clothes for free. So i dont have to go shopping for a while :P But im going anyways today.

ARG im gonna scream any second!!! I hate school, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it. It gets WORSE by the day!!! Basically i have theories about what it's like. Since i moved here, its like placing me right in the middle of the desert and then telling me to go north. Without a compass. I just can't do anything, and metaphorically speaking im stuck with no idea where to go. Then if i bother asking my teachers about the stuff, it would be like going to Italy and asking the people there to explain Italian when they don't even know how to speak English. Im just stuck every which way i look at it. And my parents DONT UNDERSTAND. But i don't even care anymore, im about two weeks away from giving up altogether. It's gonna be my parents fault when i fail my "diploma exams" and then get the results back a month after the new semester starts only to discover im fucked over entirely.


On a brighter note, i got my passport application today....... but i'll most likely have to do summer school *sigh*

Today was an O.K. day. I hate my socials teacher he is the one that i want to kill. But the socials class was fun. we had to do some kind of democracy thing and we had to go in a group of five and pick a common favorite band. So i went with Andre, corey, steve and john. And steve was wearing a Death cab for cutie shirt so im all like "THE POSTAL SERVICE" and then after that we decided to use that as our common favorite band cause they all liked it too. It was cool.... but i guess you have to be me, or at least be there. Then you might understand.

I went to my grandma's for supper tonight, that was fun i guess. My grandma get soooo frickin annoying though. You can only stand about an hour of her at a time, or you want to start killing something.
My parents won't take me to tramp's tomorrow either, which is right near the really cool dress shop that i want to go to. They still owe me $30 for clothes.... not that i can but anything for $30 at the dress store, or want to at this point. I just simply want to go to tramp's and pick up a couple of dvd's, thats all...

Re-edited To Do list:

#1. KILL MR.SADLEMYER!!!!!

Dont you hate it when your dreams make no sense when you wake up, its not that my dream was weird or anything. But i was in love with some guy who i hate in real life, hehe. This is how it went. I was hanging out with my parents and grandparent then i stole $150 from my grandpa. So i ditched them and ran to the mall and went on a shopping spree, yet decided to steal clothes instead of buy them. I bought lingerie, because i wanted to show them to this other guy in my math class, who i don't even know. I took the clothes from claires which after i took the clothes turned into a little boy's toy store instead of a girl's accessory store. So then i went over to the bay (i was in the vernon mall) Only the bay was WAAY bigger and i went over to the makeup department because i wanted earings, so i could be trendy, but i didnt find any. Then i ran into ebbie and krystal, and that guy that i was in love with then i woke up.

If i design a template on paper, does anyone want to make it for me??? I would love you for eternity!!!

I had cool dreams last night, but i dont remember them, so that makes this compleatly pointless... ... Today i get to go to physics!! lol. I only like that class because the people in it are fun. Brett's in it. I'm in his group too... lol But i dont like brett, he's just funny. Then either during english because we never have anything to do, or during Math because the teacher is stupid and doesnt know how to to teach iam going to write Sean the best letter in the whole entire world. He wrote me a letter yesterday and then took pictures of it and sent it to me through e-mail, so i am going to do the same, cause then its like regular mail..... but not! MWHAHAHA

I dislike my job, it makes me have no social life. Erin is having a party for Kim on the 25th but do you think they will let me off of work, NOOOO But i definaltey have to get the 1st off or i will cry and then quit!! I could easily work at Montana's or somewhere ten times better than Wendy's and it would be less excruciating work for me. They called yesterday right after i got off the phone with Ashley and i had to go in and work for 3 hours.

Oh. P.s. the girl won canadian idol, and when i say girl i really do mean Kalan, because he probably was more of a girl then that Teresa. i hope he has a hit song, then no one decides to like him anymore. But even one hit wonders are too cool for Kalan.

i find it kind of weird to know that you are being talked about behind your back, lol. But it's good though, because they were very interesting things. I went over to ashley's house this afternoon after school and she told me that Spencer talks about how i kind of act like Tanner and that we should hook up. AHAHAh i find that sooo funny because Tanner is the cockiest, funniest guy in the whole entire world. Then she said how Scott said he liked me too, and during her birthday dinner shes gonna purposly sit us next to each other.... ahahaha. I can't wait....

I actually have blinds now!! woo hoo. after a freaking month and a half living here we actually got them installed today!! But i bet the neighbors won't be as happy about my blinds. O well.
Today i actually got my physics homework. I read it and i was able to do it and it made me happy. I had no idea what i was doing in class, but i guess thats just because i have "distractions" and by distractions i do not mean ashley's boyfriend. She's already accused me of liking him. Which i dont. I will show anyone a picture of him if they want, because i can easily get one.:)

*sigh* i dont know how to feel anymore. Completely happy and content, or miserable and screwed, because well.... quite frankly i am. But everyone already knew that. I went out for lunch again today but mike came along this time instead of spencer. but o well. School's pretty good. Still havn't had a "chat" with my parents about it all yet. I'm thinking i'll finish my stupid math here and then just do chem and bio there. I'm gonna have to sleep on it a while. My grad got moved back to june today though, so now it's on the 2nd and 3rd..........*sigh*
My life doesnt make sense so i'll just leave you with these lyrics by frou frou:

So how do i do normal
The smile i fake - the permanent wave of
Cue cards and fix it kits
Can't you tell - i'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings - and fingerprints
I don't - wanna feel - anything
But i do
And it all comes back to you

so much for that idea...................................!!!

Well....... i've had a rough weekend. 8 hours each day.... not fun at all! But last night i had to stay an extra half hour to make burgers and stuff for the medicine hat tigers. But luckily i didnt have to do anything besides watch over drive thru in which case no one came, so i talked to stephan the whole time. Oh and he wants me to party with him sometime!!! He also gave me all his tips that he got that day, which equaled about $4 which i counted this morning. Then scott gave me a ride home. He was the lucky one and got all the pennies, hehe. Today was alright considering it was a monday and all. I went out for lunch with Ashley, Brett, Tanner and some other guy who i forget his name but he's in my socials class, which was funny. We all went to cresent heights pizza place then to dairy queen and Tanner has to be the funniest guy in the world. He honestly looks like a male Kathy filipenko though, im not joking. Then he sat on me too well his legs were on me at least, because brett's car is too small for two huge guys and me to be sitting in the back seat.
When i came home i had to do homework for 2 hours, im not joking, it took me that long and then some cause i didnt even bother with my math....... why? because it sucks. I honestly contemplate suicide EVERY single day in that class. My productivness today consisted of me drawing Jack Skellington. Life would be soo much easier if i were a cartoon. THen i wouldn't have to worry about stupid things, like eventually going crazy from either my math CLASS as a whole, or just the teacher.

Man, today was suuuuure long!! i kept wanting to go home and have school finish and all that. Only to then have to go to work..... which seemed like forever. And if THAT seemed like forever imagine whats gonna happen tomorrow.... i think i just might end up dieing... Or try out the whole nirvana thing by sticking my hands in the hot oil (get it, get it!!!) AWWWWWWW i miss KAL sooooo much. especially now that you guys called me :( it makes me sad. And i actually did cry about it yesterday almost at school, but i made it until i got home . It hit me that i was gone and never going back..... it hit me like a truck full of bricks coming at me at 150mph. It hurt! On the brighter yet still not bright enough side, i actually have a "friend" Ashley. we're going to the movies on sunday, and getting in for free since she works at the town theatre. Her boyfriend is really hot. He said he thought i liked him at the beginning of the year.... hahah. But im dreading the next two days.......... its gonna be close to hell.

I hate this school.... to be honest i really do. Grad years are always supposed to be so much fun, but so far its not fun at all! This school is too full of cliques and you barely get a chance to hang out and talk to people, because you litterally have one minute to get to your next class. How the hell are you supposed to have fun in situations like those?? Oh and these stupid blue and white days i'm beginning to find are extreamly lame. And who really cares if you get wednesday off at noon, the students need it!! You need time to yourself after being crammed in a fricken ugly cold as all hell school with 1300 other lame people. My math teacher doesnt know how to teach worth shit and i hate the class the most. Maybe it's because i got a really nice high 25 fucking percent on my review because he litterally threw it at us and told us to be done by wednesday without so much as a simple review lesson on the board. Hes done NO teaching what so ever so far. He just goes on making some stupid lame ass joke and pretending like he owns the world, God i fucking hate him! If i can im going back to Vernon for the second sem and dropping this class, cause i know if i dont, im gonna end up getting probably less than 50% which will REALLY advance me in life... I'll also take chem and bio if i can. Then i should be good. I wont be sad to leave any of these people here, i dont like them. I sound very open to new things don't i?? If you went to this school you would understand that its the worst school with the worst people in the world. well most of them are the worst people, there are a few that are really nice. just a few though.

mmmmmmmmm i LOVE wednesdays soley for the fact that i get out at noon!! EVERY single wednesday, mwhaha. So after school had finished it's torture to me. Karly and Staph found me at my locker and i caught a ride with them to the Ming Chow (or whatever crazy name) restaurant. It was SUper fun. There were 10 of us altogether. All you can eat, YES! Then after that was done, we took 10 hours deciding what to do net, but decided to just go home. So i got driven home, then left right away with my mom, to go shopping. Then here, then school. Then time went by super fast. And soon i will be heading to bed... ahhhh

P.S. Jimmy (if you still want to do something or even still read this which i know you do ;)) Call me!! Cause i want to hang out again.

So, ANYWAY, last night was X-TREME. I was all trippin on acid with my good buddy JiMmY after some HOT cyber action, and i see this dog just melt out of the freakin wall. I was all wierded out, and i kneeled in the corner as i saw my friend jimmy teleport into the room all cheesy-star-wars-pre-90s-special-effects-like and bite off that dogs head. MESSED UP STUFF. then after that i went out and stole a credit card and bought some pizza and porn. what a night.

ARG im soo frusturated. I'm doing my math homework. and i come across questions that were SOOO easy to me last year, but do you think i can remember them now. NO! It's pissing me off. I'm surprised i remembered some of the things i had to do, but i had to think about those for a good 10 minutes if not longer. It really doesnt help that i have about 6 pages to do too, front and back. I'm going for a walk, i need to release some stress!!! I'll go on another journey, even though i know that its not really a journey anymore since the store doesnt have what i want. I'll pick up a magazine too. Today i get to take a cab to work. Everyone left me here to all go to elkwater, since they're stupid and didn't want to come back at 3. Therefor i couldnt go.

Last night at work i actually got to do thing!!! It was almost exciting. At first when i got there i had to sit in his office and read a book and watch a video for an hour and a hlaf which was excruciating!! Then after that was all done. I had to change into my "not so attractive, but it's not bad" uniform...... that was great. Mike (i think his name is, i actually forget) gave me one of his Visor's since he had about 7... lol. At first some blonde haired kid showed me how to do pop and frosty's. Then eventually i worked my way up to learning fries!! Its fun i guess. It takes arm strength, so i might look like a man next time, with my big biceps and all. Which im sure they will get bigger. hahaha. Today i get to make sandwhichs. at least thats what Tray said.... but i want to stick to fries!! Its cool. Then when i got off work, steph was being flag girl and waving me through the window since the dining room closed at 10 too. They sent kyle to go through the drive-thru to pick me up. But i came out before that. Then we went to the dance. Kal's dances are better. But at these ones, all the schools go, and they are held at the field house. No one really dances though. But it's still fun.

It was my first day of school today, and i honestly dont know if i can last 10 whole months!! All the people are great though, i made a bunch of friends. But still i hate being thrown into something totally new, which this obviously is. Tomorrow is "spirit day" and we have to dress up in blue and white and Steph (old friend from elementary school) said shes gonna make me a shirt tonight since i can't help her and lane since i have to work... in about an hour. Meh thats another new thing, working. haha. At least i get paid for "orientation" today though, i found that to be quite nice. All the more moola for england. Tomorrow there is a dance at McCoy too..... hahha i've heard LOTS of didn't need to know things about that place from Brett. But i don't know if im gonna go or not. I'm totally sleep deprived since i barely slept last night, due to the fact that i get so freakin nervous over EVERYTHING. The dance's here go from 9-12 at night, on fridays. Not only that, but everysingle school goes to other school's dance's and you don't need special "tickets" or anything. Just your ID card, which i didn't get today........... crap.