omg i think i just may as well be labeled the biggest idiot in the world......!! Here's a piece of advice to everyone, DONT ASSUME THINGS!!! Even if you have 500 facts that all lead to the answer!
So yes. My night went over not so well. Andy has a girlfriend! And shes a whore. And hes..... well...... not my type anyways. SO that leaves me out in the dust again, grrr.

I think today might just have been and still is the worst day i've had in a VERRRRRY long time!! Its just horrible!!! So many things are going wrong, and nothing seems decent. I think that me not having any lunch makes it worse. Im just suuper cranky right now. Not only that but i think tomorrow is just going to be a total waste of time. At least scotts picking me up and dropping me off from the show, that might be the only nice thing. But knowing the way things are going, he'll forget about me or something, or not call.... either way something wrong will happen no doubt about it.
I dropped my math class today and ive had to go back to the councillors 5 times already because the stupid computers were down. Im still at school and im extreamly depressed and bitter. I wish i could drive! That might make my life a whole lot easier.

I find it really weird and almost creepy when you have so much in common with a person that you feel like you've known them your whole life, when its only actually been a month.

Soooooo i'm dropping math today, i know mr. mayers gonna be devistated and all, but its something i just must do...... and i think i may just turn out to be a better person for it. Except for the fact that im " ruining my future" as steph puts it. She dissapointed in me, but i could care less really.
Im really surprised my dad is allowing me to drop it. But he figures its my life and if im having problems, then he can't stop me from doing what i need to in order to do good in everything else. Im going to be pushing my luck on his niceness today too.... Im going to most likely get a digital camera. I begged my mother this morning and she said she would call my dad before we went to the mall this afternoon. It's on clearance so i need to get it as soon as possible, its really cheap.
Last night i got taken out for supper by Stephan and as my mother calls him "The shadow" aka Mike. They're such dumbasses..... omg. After supper and "icecream that tasted like whiskey" We went to ruckers. I got more tickets than mike and he spent more money. He gave me his tickets anyways and i got handcuffs. Im soooo going to wear them friday night!!

*Sigh* i havnt felt this much like a twelve year old girl since i was in love with Gutterboy, its really sad actually. On friday after school i made my sister come hunt the school for him.... hhee. Then today at lunch after i realized ashley and brett ditched me, i went back to my locker and guess who was a couple of lockers down. It was him at one of his friends lockers....... And my heart went all fluttery, because i know he likes me back, which makes it worse, but better. And now im not making much sense at all. I feel like the worse girlfriend in the world, cause i guess what im doing is slightly considered cheating....
Kristen is gonna set us up on friday though when we go to see him :D Hopefully i can ditch steve for the night..... BUUUUUT i was thinking that i should just walk up to him tomorrow or wednesday and give him my number...........
I asked my dad if he were a guy, would he like that, and he said yes. But im to much of a chicken. GRRR

I CANT WAIT until next friday now AT ALL!!! Theres this halloween concert and im going!!! BUT i suppose i should tell all of the details. For one thing there is this band at my school..... and they are going to be playing at this concert. Some of the people in this band go to my school. And they have a major following in my grade, they even have their own merchandise. No kidding.
And you know my "secret admirer" well he happens to be the drummer of this band. So kristen told me i had to go with her next friday. The band is doing a cover of the time warp, and we have to dress up and dance!

:D:D:D:D:D

Its gonna be sweet! Hopefully im getting my digital camera tonight and i will SO have to take pictures.

I think all the pheremones i've been lacking for the past 7 or so years have all just finally decide to appear all at once upon me. Its kinda crazy. Alright the other day Kristen came up to me in socials and she told me that she knows some guy that has a crush on me. So i beg her to tell me and stuff, but it wouldnt work. Steph asked her to give us a hint, so she said that last year he used to have the nickname "Roger"
That night i decide to ask scott if he knows any guy with that nickname, he gave me the funniest look. And said whhy?? so i didnt tell him anything, i just asked him if he knew, and he wouldnt tell me. It led me to thinking it was him and all......
So i asked Kristen this morning if it was Scott..... she said no, it was not. So then she started talking more about him, and she said that the other day, he tried talking to me but i made him really nervous, hehe. That made me realize EXACTLY who it was. Its this punk kid in my socials class, and hes quite cute. Sadly i didnt know his name. Until i asked scott tonight, it was great fun. I was also asking scott if i should go out with him and stuff.... hes such a good friend, even if he does like me. He asked for my number tonight. So that means that tomorrow i have plans with stephan still and scott. Scott wants me to go play drums with him and kurtis and Stephan wants me to go to a movie with his friend and his girlfriend....... id rather go play drums with scott to be honest.
BUT kristen also said that shes gonna get "Andy" to ask me out tomorrow too......
OMG!

So far since ive been here, i've been listening to so much punk, and its really good.
These are the top seven albums i order you to burn for the month of october:

Taking Back Sunday - Where you want to be
The Used - In love and death
Story of the Year - Page Avenue
Coheed and Cambria - In keeping of secrets of silent earth 3
The Early November - Rooms too cold
My Chemical Romance - Three cheers for sweet revenge
Death cab for cutie - Transatlanticism

Listening to: The Used

It's been snowing all week so i should probably switch my template soon....
Last night was rather interesting i'd say..... so i had a rather bad phone convo with him, i was almost contemplating not going out with him last night at all after what he was acting like. But he called me at 7:30 and he picked me up and of course mike came along. We wandered around the mall for an hour and a half and met up with Mike N. and Lj too..... i was kinda pissed off a bit, mainly for the fact that i knew he was purposly trying to avoid talking about it. So we left at 9, dropped off mike, then we went back to his house to watch tv. We didn't "watch tv" or anything like that though.... just casually. His brother was there anyways.
So when we were on our way back to my house, i decided to talk to him about it, since i knew he wasnt going to.
We were parked outside my house for a good 20 minutes just talking about it. And it got resolved and he told me what happened between him and mel.... well all the stuff that he actaully rememebers. He said the reason he didnt call me on saturday was because he heard from everybody that i had dumped him for Lj......... o dear. But we're all good now, and it makes me happy. My mom still thinks i should dump him though cause he'll "break my heart" again...... which didnt happen in the first place. I was just super pissed off, which was making me a little sad.

Today Kristen told me that she knows someone who has a crush on me. And when steph asked her if it was someone in the class we were in, she said maybe in this really funny voice, so i think i now have an idea about who it might be, hehe
I don't know his name though.... which is kinda funny. And i've only actually talked to him once, but last friday i went to the pep rally with him kinda........ if it is even him. I hope it is at least.......... damn its too bad a girl can't have at least three boyfriends.

So tonight i finally decided im going to suck it up and call Stephan. My mom said he called last night when i was working, but by the time i got home, it was too late to call back even though he said i should. I talked to mike about it yesterday though and he said that Stephan didnt want to call me.... but mike didnt know why. But then now he actually decides to do it..... i REALLY dont understand. Stupid emo boys are so fucking frustrating! Sometimes i want to kick him and kiss him all at the same time. Lj said i looked hot with my newly dyed black hair, hahah. PLUS yesterday scott was all sad that i was flirting with mike in front of him i think. Then when tray was talking about getting some girl to marry him on his video game scott came over to me, looked me in the eye for a good 30 seconds, then drew me a heart on the sandwhich board. I thought it was the cutest thing in the world. My mom thinks i should dump Stephan and go for Scott.
Holy cow i have no idea what i should do. Because mike also likes me and he said that he needed to talk to me about some things, but wendy's wasnt the appropriate place to do it. haha

Ronny's Party was a big fucking hit i tell you
I ended up making two people cry......

And whats even worse, is that now im in hysterics.....

What a lovely evening, i wouldn't mind not waking up in the morning cause i dont want to have to deal with this shit

Its friday.... and it makes me happy that i dont have to work today or tomorrow :D
I wore my purple and black striped tights today it was fun since it was "spirit day"
i also had to wear a blue and white shirt.... so i did. My whole outfit just kicked some major ass.
As soon as i walked in the door today, scott started yelling at me. So i put my backpack away and then joined him and clayton it was fun since i never really ever talked to scott at school before. He's so great, his calculator was talking to him.......
Then physics which sucked cause i failed my test. Math also sucked because i failed another quiz....... o god help me!!!

The rest of the day was okay though, i had a gummy war with ashley, brett and tanner at lunch. Then Mr. EVIL sadlemyer gave us Dilly bars because we actually showed up for second class. I forgot all my essay stuff at school which means that yes... i am going to fail this essay as well. damn it.
We had a pep rally too...... so amateur, but fun none the less.
Kim invited me to go watch movies over at Erin's tonight but i dont know if i am going to since im going to Ronny's party which is going to be sooooo much fun, at least i hope so :)

P.S. i'll take pictures!

last night............. work was fun i guess, until 8. Cause then cliffy (mike) left. He's soo awesome and he said i was the coolest person in the world. That makes me happy. And what makes me even happier is that i get to work with him all week!! Apparently on saturday night we are supposed to have a movie night too. I miss you guys!!! i miss all the movie nights we used to have :( it makes me sad

Tomorrow i will try and get a camera so i can take pictures of people when i go to Ronny's party on Friday................ i can't wait. And im hoping i will be able to sleep over at his house cause there is NO WAY im taking a cab all the way from his house to mine. It would be like $50. If i wanted to get home that is the only way i would be able to since all my "rides" are getting drunk that night.

wow you know your REALLy bored when you post three times on your blog in less than an hour.........

Im having my first "christmas" right now and it soooo good. By that.... since K is probably the only one who knows what im talking about. Im having my first mandarin orange right now....... ahh christmas.

When i was at the mall yesterday i saw the perfectest things to get you guys!!! So im not sure whether i should buy it now and save it, or wait until mid november or december and see if its still there..... tell me what i should do. I feel in the christmas spirit somewhat. Oh and i think now that i have my bank card, im gonna enjoy spending money but then kick myself for it after..... hopefully i dont get tooo carried away!

OOOOO guess what yesterday was and i TOTALLY forgot until now.....






It was my blog's second birthday :) 

I had a semi boring weekend. I didn't even get anything close to a thanksgiving dinner which was a little depressing. But i guess im gonna have to get used to these kinds of things.
So of course Friday night i ditched Stephan and went to go see Garden State with my sister. EXCELLENT movie!!! I loved it so incredibly much.
Saturday i went shopping for a bit with Stephan. I was orginally just supposed to go with my mom and all my relatives. It was like a "girls out" shopping day.... so i decided to invite Stephan to go with me instead. But that was kinda bad because my mom made me introduce him to everybody before we left.....
Then i had to work until 10. I got picked up at 10 and we went over to Stephans house to watch another movie. All his relatives were at his house so i got to meet all them as well. His brohter has to be the cutest thing i have ever met. Of course he's annoying and all, but soooo cute!!
Yesterday was soooo boring. First of all there was basically no one wanting Wendy's fast food that day...... so i was bored at work and was able to get off of work an hour and a half early. Then i came home expecting that i was gonna go to mike's house after.... but noooooo Stephans wasn't allowed and mike was gone somewhere........ so i had no plans. I ended up just staying at home BY MYSELF because my parents were at my aunt's house. So I watched Donnie Darko alone, in the dark.

Yesterday was.. PERFECT and Sean and Mike coudln't have made it any better. After school i recieved the best thing ever in the mail. Sean sent me a mixed cd will all the possible best songs in the world! It was awesome and i love it verrrry much!! Then at work i was able to leave a half an hour early because Mike took over my shift for me even though he had to get up at 5:30 the next morning. He stayed till 10 just for me :) While we were working, it was me and mike on sandwhichs and then Ron was on grill.....o dear. They kept suggesting i take my clothes off..... i told them i was hot and they were all like " well if your hot why dont you take your clothes off, think about it, no one really NEEDS a shirt or pants" They're so funny. Ron thinks i stalk him, when really he is MY stalker!! grrrrrrr
And mike....... o dear....... the boy likes me so much i can tell. I was telling them about Rocky horror picture show and then they asked what it was about. So i told them it was about transvestites. So now they think that's my fetish. Then i asked mike why doesnt he start dressing like a girl then. And then he said "oh.. just wait till next friday... you'll see" hahaha
I SOOO can't wait till next friday. Im hoping my four day week will go by really fast. THere are all these new people working there now.... and as much as im gonna love not having so many shifts im not gonna be "the new girl" anymore..... even though i know they all love me, i dont want THOSE new people getting all their attention! I want it all to myself and i KNOW that makes me sound like such a princess but it's true..... but who knows.... they may not take to these new ones, like they did to me :)

There was a down side to my day though and now I feel like the shittiest person in the world!!! Stephan came at around 5 to ask what time i was off so i told him i got off at 10 and i was going to a movie after that and he could come along if he wanted to. So he said he would come back at 10...... The only problem with that is the fact that i left at 9:30 and totally forgot until halfway through the movie that i invited him to come along and that he would expect me to be at wendy's at 10................*cries* I'm sooooo dumb i cant believe myself sometimes........i didnt even call him after to explain or anything because by the time i got home it was 12

So far i am having an excellent morning. I didnt wake up to have a shower, i slept in, so it was good. Then when i started reading the paper when i was having my breakfast i saw that i could buy both donnie darko and The rocky horror picture show for only $16!!!! SO guess what im doing after school, going dvd shopping! :) THEN i checked out the movies that were playing at the theater and GARDEN STATE IS PLAYING!!!!!!!! I am SOO going to see that, even if i have to go by myself i am going to go see that movie if it is the last thing i do!
Hopefully the rest of my day goes just as smoothly but i know for a fact that it wont.... sucks. I'm still in a depressed mood, i just had a little uplifting though. Someone just needs to tell me to get over myself, then i might be okay.

This time last year must have been the day that Robb died since today was the last day he ever updated his poor little blog..... R.I.P Robb. I'm talking about the Robb that Becca killed...... the poor thing never had a chance.
If boots would have been alive, it would have been his 12th birthday :( R.I.P Boots. Wow today is just such a happy day isn't it. Well one good thing about it is. I get off at noon and i dont have to work at all today. Im taking my sister out shopping because im just so darn nice too. I also have an eye appointement today, then loads and loads and loads of Math work... *whimper* Then i also want to do something with Stephan tonight cause i still havn't given him his birthday present.... hmmm busy day.

ARG i had to go to tutorial at lunch and it was the most unfun i've ever had. Its subjecting yourslef to a whole extra hour of math work..... which didnt help me one tiny little bit!! But o well... at least tomorrow's tuesday and i have a double class of english. But we're reading some dumb drama called, "death of a salesman" maybe it will be good.... but im in too much of a judging mood for it to be just that right now. When i got home i didnt understand my math at all, so i just left it. Which i know is gonna majorly screw me over.... o well.... its not like im actually gonna pass anyways so why actually try!!??
Do you think it would be cruel to make Stephan watch Amelie or The rocky horror picture show?? He already thought Lost in Translation was boring, he told me he literally walked out of the theatres...... so i hit him. I'm not a man beater like mrs morelli or anything.....

well ive had a rather interesting night....... im going to do something to de-stress myself...... i need a gym membership

Last night when i was talking to Stephan he said that he wrote a song for me. But before i hear it from him, hes gonna get his band to memorize it, and then i have to go see them play it............

Well i had a fabulous weekend. Friday night Ashley's "party" was a little boring, we didnt really do much besides eat and then watch a movie. I realized that i went to kindergarten with her step sister though, it was kinda weird. i'll have to tell ashley that today and see what she says. Then after ashley's Stephan and Mike came and picked me up again to go over to their friends house for what seemed to be a "party" but there were only two people there when we got there, and they happened to be the people that were having the party..... So when they left to go get food and pop, thats when they were left to thier own devices. Stephan and mike decided to see how many crackers they could fit into thier mouth at the same time... then they tried to see who could have a tea bag in thier mouth for the longest and so on.....
We left when this girl that i used to know and about 7 really drunk guys came in. We sat in Stephans car and played truth or dare jenga without the jenga.

Saturday i had to work. Then called Stephan after and we went over to his house to "watch a movie"
Sunday i had to open with Ronny, Curtis and Mike........ enough said
Then scott came in later too, its too bad he didnt go to ashely's birthday, he said it was because he got grounded.

THIS is exactly what i want my grad dress to look like, at least for the time being. I heard this girl talk about how nice her grad dress was already, and i dont like her. So damnit mine is going to be soooo way better than hers, because she doesnt deserve to look nice..