Is it normal to have equal feelings for three different people?
O god, I dont know why I do, but I still have feelings for Stephan... and whats worse is the fact that I saw him today. I came home and fell apart almost litterally. Its like that scene in Amelie where she sees him leave and then turns into water. If that could happen, thats exactly what would have. I wanted him to stay, because I just got off work at the time, but I went to go change, and I saw him. I guess it is true that you never get over someone.
As for the other two people.. I dont know what I want, I really dont.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Sunday, January 23, 2005
*sigh* Oh the Irony
Well...... Work over the last couple days was so hurtful... I got new shoes a week or so ago, and they hurt my feet like a banshee bite. But on the up side, I got to go home 2 hours early today, plus I got a 15 cent raise. It was gooooooood.
Scott almost broke my cd today.... and if he would have, I would have broke his face. He doesnt like modest mouse apparently, I knew that........ *tries not to remember our date*
So yeah.... I got tomorrow off, which is good, cause I dont like working, plus I get to do something tomorrow night..... if my parents feel like being nice and driving me.
I went to vist Andy today at the Mohawk, I got a slush.... and so did amanda..... but I actually just went there to talk to him, the slush is now in the freezer.
Scott almost broke my cd today.... and if he would have, I would have broke his face. He doesnt like modest mouse apparently, I knew that........ *tries not to remember our date*
So yeah.... I got tomorrow off, which is good, cause I dont like working, plus I get to do something tomorrow night..... if my parents feel like being nice and driving me.
I went to vist Andy today at the Mohawk, I got a slush.... and so did amanda..... but I actually just went there to talk to him, the slush is now in the freezer.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Army dreamers
Grr you know how I hate liars.... well today was bad. In the afternoon I went to go try on grad dresses again. God.... what a gong show that was. And I dont think it was lack of sleep cause I slept in till 11:30 this morning, but after an hour, I almost wanted to cry cause I was so frustrated.
So yeah.... trying on dresses was not at all successful cause I happen to be a fat cow. Thats the conclusion I have come to. There were all these dresses that were sooo pretty, but do you think they fit me properly? No... why? Because my ass and hips are so freaking huge. It makes me want to cry.
And then guess who had the nerve to call me "small" the stupid ugly saleslady. I almost flipped and went "ARE YOU INSANLY BLIND???"
Im going in a potato sack....... thats it. It covers everything, that people dont have to see.
So yeah.... trying on dresses was not at all successful cause I happen to be a fat cow. Thats the conclusion I have come to. There were all these dresses that were sooo pretty, but do you think they fit me properly? No... why? Because my ass and hips are so freaking huge. It makes me want to cry.
And then guess who had the nerve to call me "small" the stupid ugly saleslady. I almost flipped and went "ARE YOU INSANLY BLIND???"
Im going in a potato sack....... thats it. It covers everything, that people dont have to see.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
It must have been love, but its over now
I think I lost 2 years off of my life today because of all the second hand smoke I inhaled, but hey it was fun while it lasted. So... I went to physics did absolutely nothing. So kristen was all like "hey, you want to go make popcorn." and I said yes, cause I really didnt want to sit through english and do those freaking "practice exams" again. So we went to Safeway, Jen came along. Then we went back to the school and made our popcorn and Kristen had to do socials, so we went for a bit. Then Bryan said he would be in the art room, so after the second block, I made kristen come on a hunt for him with me. Then there was some sad little boy in the hall so Kristen tried to cheer him up, but then he started getting mad. So she went all crazy and did a lobster dance and tried to make him do it too, but then he got mad. So we went back to the socials room and Alan was in there.
That's when we randomly decided we wanted to go downtown to shop at Triple E. So we were leaving to go shop, Kristen found steph and we all went. It was the most interesting store I have ever seen.....
So then we go back to the school, hang out around Andy's car for a bit.
Then finally I decide to drag Bryan into the school with me because Im cold. We skipped out on socials and sat in the hall for a bit because he needed to finish his painting.
Andy and Kristen then come and join us for a bit, and I finally catch a ride with Andy home.
It was around 1:30 when I got home and I expected my mom to be home. But she wasnt. So I left a message for my sister at the school that I had gotten a ride home. But when my sister and mom got home, they wernt too pleased with me. Because my sister didnt get the message.
Overall It made for a very interesting last day of school before exams
That's when we randomly decided we wanted to go downtown to shop at Triple E. So we were leaving to go shop, Kristen found steph and we all went. It was the most interesting store I have ever seen.....
So then we go back to the school, hang out around Andy's car for a bit.
Then finally I decide to drag Bryan into the school with me because Im cold. We skipped out on socials and sat in the hall for a bit because he needed to finish his painting.
Andy and Kristen then come and join us for a bit, and I finally catch a ride with Andy home.
It was around 1:30 when I got home and I expected my mom to be home. But she wasnt. So I left a message for my sister at the school that I had gotten a ride home. But when my sister and mom got home, they wernt too pleased with me. Because my sister didnt get the message.
Overall It made for a very interesting last day of school before exams
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Hello Sunshine
Mike made me mad today. He basically said to me that Stephan didnt like me anymore, so thats why he hung out with Angela.And they're both the same because Angela hangs out with him even though she has a boyfriend that she doesnt like. Thats great, now there's a way to boost ones ego.
O well... I guess mine was too big to start off with.
My weekend kinda sucked. The only good part about it was friday night. I worked until 8. Then I got to hang out with Kurtis and Garrett, and it was great. I convinced them to go see The Phantom of the Opera! I loved it. I want to get a grad dress like one of their dresses. Speaking of which... I get to skip my last class and go Grad dress shopping tomorrow downtown. Right after writing my evil socials essay.... O god... I can already tell you Im going to get about 35%
*think positive*
*think positive*
Saturday I almost died.... but I dont want to talk about it.... Wendy's sucks, and majorly!
O well... I guess mine was too big to start off with.
My weekend kinda sucked. The only good part about it was friday night. I worked until 8. Then I got to hang out with Kurtis and Garrett, and it was great. I convinced them to go see The Phantom of the Opera! I loved it. I want to get a grad dress like one of their dresses. Speaking of which... I get to skip my last class and go Grad dress shopping tomorrow downtown. Right after writing my evil socials essay.... O god... I can already tell you Im going to get about 35%
*think positive*
*think positive*
Saturday I almost died.... but I dont want to talk about it.... Wendy's sucks, and majorly!
Friday, January 14, 2005
Yoshimi they dont believe me
Fuck Fuck Fuck,I am soooo stressed out its not even imaginable funny in any sense what so ever. I went to school at nine this morning only to discover the doom I had to endure for the next three fucking hours. Yeah... thats right, my english exam. The subject was so incredibly hard, all I could do was just sit there, and go "o my god, this is the end of my life as I know it." The subject we had to do two essays on was something like "A persons attempt to secure their self-fulfillment." Not only that.... then I go back to socials to discover..... yes indeed I HAD failed my field test.... and my god I thought it was easy, Guess not.*crys*
Last night I had soooo much fun. I spent 9 1/2 hours with Bryan and it was fabulous.
After school we went to his house for an hour then we took the bus at 3 to the mall, hung out, went to Wendy's where I got bitched at by ugly slut Renee, went back to the mall, bought myself things. Then we saw spanglish and it was such a good movie. I ran into stalker Ron at the mall again too.... surprise, surprise.
Last night I had soooo much fun. I spent 9 1/2 hours with Bryan and it was fabulous.
After school we went to his house for an hour then we took the bus at 3 to the mall, hung out, went to Wendy's where I got bitched at by ugly slut Renee, went back to the mall, bought myself things. Then we saw spanglish and it was such a good movie. I ran into stalker Ron at the mall again too.... surprise, surprise.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Yeah your alright
Yay I actually have plans this weekend. Well tomorrow and friday at least. Tomorrow Im catching the bus after school with Bryan and we are heading off to the mall and then to the movies. Then on Friday Im hanging out with Garrett and Kurtis. I have tests both those days though, I am sooo not looking forward to them.... AT ALL. They will be the death of me I swear it. Today I did absolutely nothing, and I loved it. Went to school, hung out with Bryan, came home, watched the end of High Fidelity, then did some homework, ate supper, and now I've been on here all night. Kinda sad actually.....
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Everyone wants to say "I love you" to someone on the radio
Today was a good day for once.... even though its only tuesday.. but tomorrow I heard was supposed to be a Snow day if the weather gets bad enough, hopefully it does.
Today I had to write a stupid critical/analytical response for freaking english.... grr. Although I thought it was good... mrs Deibert will probably think otherwise.
Today I went out for lunch with Kim, charmaine and Erin. It was fun. Even though I go out with them most days of the week, today was just better than the rest, we got so much food at Safeways. And I left my Animal Crackers in my locker... O well.
Thursday I get to go take the bus at 2ish and spend the day at the mall, have supper there, and then go to the movies after, its gonna be fun... I cant wait.
Today I had to write a stupid critical/analytical response for freaking english.... grr. Although I thought it was good... mrs Deibert will probably think otherwise.
Today I went out for lunch with Kim, charmaine and Erin. It was fun. Even though I go out with them most days of the week, today was just better than the rest, we got so much food at Safeways. And I left my Animal Crackers in my locker... O well.
Thursday I get to go take the bus at 2ish and spend the day at the mall, have supper there, and then go to the movies after, its gonna be fun... I cant wait.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
The wages are down
I'm so worn down today, it really sucks. I've had to open both mornings and I've been getting no sleep at night. Not only that, but I still have to read 10 chapters of THHGTTG........ even though I love it, I dont feel like reading at all tonight. But I must, since I have a book talk to do tomorrow. I've been the biggest idiot in the world today. I think its the lack of sleep that makes my limbs not work properly. I kept dropping things, it did not make for a very successful or graceful day. I did have a good night last night though. Even if I did almost freeze. Walking from one end of the mall to the other outside in -30 weather was not ever the smartest idea I ever had. But it had its purpose. Mike proposed to me today. And decided to give me a pickle as a ring. It was sweet..... yet weird. I really really really dont want to go to school tomorrow. I hate school more than anything in the world right now.
Friday, January 07, 2005
One day we'll look upon a washed up Atlantic
Gah!! I think I might have had the possibly worst day in the world yesterday. First when I get home my mother declares that shes not going to drive me to work becuase "the roads are slippery." So I tell her to call me a cab. About 45 minutes later it finally decided to arrive and Im already late for work.... Luckily they did bitch at me over that. But then Renee comes over and shes like "Lift up your pants"..... Which is a little wierd but I did. Then she starts telling me that from now on I have to wear black socks and all this kind of crap.... grr. The whole night me and Mel were bitching about how stupid all their new rules are... Cause they are so retarded now.
I did get off work an hour early though which was good.... yet not considering I called my mom to see if she could come pick me up... but she didnt want to either so I had to hitch a ride from Candice..... O god.... I dont know why because shes such a nice person and everything.... but theres a part of me that really dislikes her because shes kinda annoying. Plus Ron was also there complaining that I didnt call him when I got back from vernon........ Since he wants to "hang out" and all.
Well for 1) I dont have his number.
2) Even if I did have his number I wouldnt call him to "hang out" because he's slightly annoying.
I did get off work an hour early though which was good.... yet not considering I called my mom to see if she could come pick me up... but she didnt want to either so I had to hitch a ride from Candice..... O god.... I dont know why because shes such a nice person and everything.... but theres a part of me that really dislikes her because shes kinda annoying. Plus Ron was also there complaining that I didnt call him when I got back from vernon........ Since he wants to "hang out" and all.
Well for 1) I dont have his number.
2) Even if I did have his number I wouldnt call him to "hang out" because he's slightly annoying.
PLus..... That nathan guy also asked for my email address..... O god.... I have yet ANOTHER stalker on my hands to deal with.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Only one more year, one more month and one more day until I am 18! I figured that out today during my spare. Bryan finally decided to stay with me today since he's got a spare that class too. O well......
I've done nothing all week........ and Im stressed out about finals yet I cant bring myself to study. I believe I am doomed for failure.
I've done nothing all week........ and Im stressed out about finals yet I cant bring myself to study. I believe I am doomed for failure.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Counting down......... or else I would die.
Well....... first day of school was crap. I dont know why on earth we had to start today. All the rest of the world starts tomorrow, our school just has to be stupid.
I'm counting down though...... god, if I didn't then I would go insane. Only less than a month before I never have to talk, or possibly see Mrs Diebert for the rest of my life. She's such an old cow. I hate her.. as you can possibly tell. But in all fairness its a hate-hate relationship, I dont think shes too fond of me either. All she ever talks about is suicide I swear! "It the greatest form of escape" "It gets rid of all your problems" blah blah blah. I think shes like the devil or something encouraging everyone to commit suicide. Luckily I only have a month left with her or else yes...... I would be jumping on the suicide bandwagon!
I dont want to have to do math though.... thats what I'm not looking forward to next sem.
I'm counting down though...... god, if I didn't then I would go insane. Only less than a month before I never have to talk, or possibly see Mrs Diebert for the rest of my life. She's such an old cow. I hate her.. as you can possibly tell. But in all fairness its a hate-hate relationship, I dont think shes too fond of me either. All she ever talks about is suicide I swear! "It the greatest form of escape" "It gets rid of all your problems" blah blah blah. I think shes like the devil or something encouraging everyone to commit suicide. Luckily I only have a month left with her or else yes...... I would be jumping on the suicide bandwagon!
I dont want to have to do math though.... thats what I'm not looking forward to next sem.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Im lifting you up, Im letting you down, Im dancing till dawn, Im fooling around
So.... What a year. AND what a night.
In fact it has been a very good year... well for the most part. I could have gone without the whole moving thing, but I guess it was meant to be. Cause if it wasn't then I wouldn't have had such a great night.
And now, I'm just that much closer to graduating. Since now it is our actual grad year....... O God Im scared.
Now I suppose I will tell you about last night. The party started at 9, but I went over to bryans house at about 7:30. He had a Chris over, so we wern't "alone at his house." We played pool, I sucked. Then we started watching a bit of Cheaper by the Dozen..... and his other friend Joel came over. It was aroudn 9ish, so we walked over to Jen's house.
There were about 30 people overall at her party last night. It was so much fun. Yes I got drunk, and so did everyone else. Then I got my new years kiss :) I was supposed to go home at 2........ and lets just say that didnt happen at all. I went over to bryans house at around 4 in the morning to call a cab from there, but the line was busy for half an hour and when I fianlly got through to the cab company, they said I have to wait an hour till a cab can come. So..... It was 6:30 by the time I actually got home. Which is not a good time to come home, since thats when my dad leaves for work. But I blamed it all on the cab company and thier waiting lists.... and I got away with it.
In fact it has been a very good year... well for the most part. I could have gone without the whole moving thing, but I guess it was meant to be. Cause if it wasn't then I wouldn't have had such a great night.
And now, I'm just that much closer to graduating. Since now it is our actual grad year....... O God Im scared.
Now I suppose I will tell you about last night. The party started at 9, but I went over to bryans house at about 7:30. He had a Chris over, so we wern't "alone at his house." We played pool, I sucked. Then we started watching a bit of Cheaper by the Dozen..... and his other friend Joel came over. It was aroudn 9ish, so we walked over to Jen's house.
There were about 30 people overall at her party last night. It was so much fun. Yes I got drunk, and so did everyone else. Then I got my new years kiss :) I was supposed to go home at 2........ and lets just say that didnt happen at all. I went over to bryans house at around 4 in the morning to call a cab from there, but the line was busy for half an hour and when I fianlly got through to the cab company, they said I have to wait an hour till a cab can come. So..... It was 6:30 by the time I actually got home. Which is not a good time to come home, since thats when my dad leaves for work. But I blamed it all on the cab company and thier waiting lists.... and I got away with it.